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How to use an ATM machine...
MALE PROCEDURE 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Wind down your car window 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt 6. Wind up window 7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE 1. Drive up to cash machine 2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine 3. Re-start stalled engine 4. Wind down the window 5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card 6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror 7. Attempt to insert card into machine 8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car 9. Insert card 10. Re-insert card the right way up 11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page 12. Enter PIN 13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN 14. Enter amount of cash required 15. Re-check make-up in rear view mirror 16. Retrieve cash and receipt 17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and put cash inside 18. Place receipt in back of cheque book 19. Re-check make-up again 20. Drive forward two metres 21. Reverse back to cash machine 22. Retrieve card 23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided 24. Re-check make-up 25. Re-start stalled engine and move off 26. Drive for 3 - 4 miles 27. Release hand brake
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